Dr Martin Austwick at Geek Pop

by Dr Martin Austwick

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*Available to download as part of the Geek Like Me EP. See geekpop.bandcamp.com/album/geek-like-me

This set is part of the Geek Pop 2011 festival at geekpop.co.uk

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released March 10, 2011

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Track Name: The Sound of The Ladies - The Day of The Snail*
Why is it so hard
After heavy rain
To step between the snails and spare their lives?
Our mindless feet remake
Their homes into deadly blades
The perfect instruments of their demise

And if I were transformed into a giant slug
Would I be most cursed on this earth?
And if I one day die and am reborn a man
Should I rejoice in my rebirth?

Evil's on the march
It stalks my stuttering steps
I can feel its voodoo in my head
But it needs a lock of hair
To perform its spells
So I'll collect my hair
And I'll keep it in the jars beneath my bed

With fingernails and skin
And bottles of urine
Anything that might bear my DNA
And I know that I must hide
From the storm that dwells outside
But I will step into the light some lucky day

The oily rain that falls upon the flooded pavement tells me that it's here within my castle I must stay
And while I know that I must hide
From the storm that howls outside
I will step into the light some lucky day
Track Name: Whatever Happened to the Girl with the X-ray Eyes
Whatever happened to the girl with the X-ray eyes?
I still miss her jokes, her smile, her laugh
Caught within a speck of silver bromide
A ghost seen in a dead man's photograph

Whatever happened to the dose of radiation?
Water torture drawn out forty years
The corporeal transparent and elusive
'Till the world around had all but disappeared

Whatever happened to the man with the mentaculus
Who sunk a fleet of U-boats with his mind?
He got himself embroiled in some sad scandal
An apple core was all he left behind

I heard the motors whir to punch my card
Loving you should not have been this hard
I drank when it said "drink me", underscored
Walked through the door there in the skirting board

Whatever happened to the man of re and brimstone?
Extinguished embers are his eyes
He worked hard to win his heavy burden
And if you earn it, you might take his prize

He searched to find the perfect preparation
A balm to soothe the fie, to end all wars
But he underwent a dreadful transformation
Becoming death, the destroyer of worlds

And death, the destroyer of all worlds
Walked through the door there in the skirting board
The world was like a fog seen from afar
Loving you should not have been this hard
Track Name: Brownian Motion
Around the time of Jesus
Lucretius, who was Roman
Noticed motes of dust in sunbeams and their erratic motion
He ascribed this to the bu eting caused by atoms in the air
And some simple evidence of atoms was discovered there
In Brownian Motion

Robert Brown, biologist, laced water drops with pollen
Observed it in a microscope till his eyes were red and swollen
He saw the pollen jiggling, he rubbed his sleepy eyes
Why was the pollen dancing?
Why - it was not alive!
It was Brownian Motion

The pollen grain was dancing from the myriad
Water molecules that struck it
Imagine if you will
This simple analogy
A crowd of angry people
Standing in a circle
Throwing lots of ping-pong balls
At a lazy elephant
Standing in the middle
And henceforth ambulating
In a manner confused, and somewhat crooked
Because that's Brownian Motion
Track Name: Meet Me on Monday
Of course I'm fond of you, but all you do is tell me your sweet little lies
My scienti fic view means that I see through them, but when will you realise
Your heart it isn't broken, lying bleeding on the ground?
If that were the case you wouldn't still be walking around
You say without me that you are so blue
That's probably just haemoglobin deoxygenation discolouring you

I don't understand your a ffection for the poetry of which you speak
And the only love letters I need are Greek and appear within equations
(preferably with subscripts)
You conjure up these stories from your imagination
If you'd really been walking on air, you'd defy Newton's laws of gravitation

I'm afraid I have to run - it's time we drew our grand experiment to a close
You wouldn't meet me on Monday to return my graphics calculator
I don't suppose?

I know it's just biochemistry
But it feels like a re that is burning inside of me
Where there's no air to feed the blaze
Well I took another look at the data, and baby I'm amazed

It's an ambiguous result - this was all my fault
The experiment will have to be repeated - I'm sorry, but science needs it
It's another false alarm so come back to my loving arms
Come back to my loving arms
But my arms are incapable of loving you independently
So come back to me
Come back to me instead